The power to remotely _jizz in someone's sock

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The power to see red in a slightly lighter shade

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The power to instantaneously teleport in front of your mom each time you masturbate.

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The ability to grow a beard whenever anyone in the world shits

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The power to breath fire but only when covered in gasoline/petrolium

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The power to suck deez nuts

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The power to move 1 minute forward in time every 60 seconds.

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The ability to fly only as fast as you can walk.

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The power to cough, but only at funerals, and speeches

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The power to travel faster than the speed of light but never slower than the speed of light.

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the power to shoot knifes from ur pen*s hole.(ouch)

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The power to forget why you got hurt when you get hurt.

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the power to know how your going to die right before you die.`

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The power to walk after about 6 months of age.

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The power to move objects by touching them.

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The Power Above This Power During Night time. The Power Below This Power During the day. Invulnerable for one second during dawn and dusk.

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The power to repeat everything you say twice. The power to repeat everything you say twice.

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The power to write about power.

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(PS: Neo was the seventh Jesus, we live in the matrix)

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The power to smell any point in time

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The power to be a bird that can't fly

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The power to spontaneously combust while nobody is around!

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An ability to exist without any food but only after you eat some food.

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the power to fire my lazer

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!