The power to see red in a slightly lighter shade

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The power to remotely _jizz in someone's sock

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The power to instantaneously teleport in front of your mom each time you masturbate.

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The ability to grow a beard whenever anyone in the world shits

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The power to suck deez nuts

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The ability to fly only as fast as you can walk.

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The power to cough, but only at funerals, and speeches

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The power to travel faster than the speed of light but never slower than the speed of light.

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The power to forget why you got hurt when you get hurt.

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The power to walk after about 6 months of age.

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The power to move objects by touching them.

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The power to let 100 cockroaches crawl upon you for everytime you display emotion

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The Power Above This Power During Night time. The Power Below This Power During the day. Invulnerable for one second during dawn and dusk.

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The power to repeat everything you say twice. The power to repeat everything you say twice.

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The power to write about power.

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(PS: Neo was the seventh Jesus, we live in the matrix)

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done something sexual with some type of food?

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The power to jerk off with no hands.

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The power to be a bird that can't fly

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Invisible handwriting.

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The power to move 1 second into the future. Takes 1 second to work.

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The ability to turn into any non-living object, but not back.

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the power of the Anti-petter gun, which fires bullshit over the moon.

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The power to make something cold when you put it in the fridge

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!