The power to help bitches stay alive! Bitches love staying alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

The ability to see through blind peoples eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -47

the power to die on command

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Uber Sensitive man, in terms of touch and emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

the power to breathe but only if there's oxygen present

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Super strength, but when nobody is watching, (including you)

thumb_up thumb_down -46

The power to be fluent in every language but only when your head is fully submerged underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

The ability to glow in the dark but only when your really sleepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

The power to be anyone you want but your still a nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -108

The power to piss in a toilet when your drunk

thumb_up thumb_down +149

the power to lick your own tongue

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The ability to be in fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

The power to transform into a homeless person.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

The powers to know every martial art ever when your neck is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

The power to create another human

thumb_up thumb_down -131

The ability to write a humorous entry on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The power to be able to walk .00000002 times faster whenever you want

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Alzheimers man, the ability to show up where you are needed but forget why you are there in the first place

thumb_up thumb_down -36

The power to always be the next best fighter in any 1vs1 fight to the death. MORAL: KOMBAT!

thumb_up thumb_down -52

The power to have all the powers written in here

thumb_up thumb_down -62

The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

thumb_up thumb_down -110

The power to grant underwater breathing to Mosquitos.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

The ability to get a headache when you do or say something stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +175

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!