The power to bypass capcha codes

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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The power to have a photogenic memory (You look really good in every memory of yourself)

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The ability to freeze-frame yourself. Forever.

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The power to fly during a point in time when all humans are able to fly.

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The power to have really sweaty palms.

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The ability to hide your cats right ear at will

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the power to jizz money

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The power to be born again

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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The ability to die instantly

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The power to play their superhero name on guitar.

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The power to lose all your limbs

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The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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the ability to levitate

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The power of attracting fired bullets

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The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

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the ability to make your eyes pop out.

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The power to (place useless super power here)

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The power to make your nipples hurt when you twist them

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The power to open doors the opposite way they were made to open.

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Power to sleep without eyelids

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!