- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

i love to make shit brix

Harnessing Homoeopathic wisdom.

Power to remove fart smells by licking the air

The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

The power to be Obama when he's not president anymore

The power to die

The power to have really sweaty palms.

the power to jizz money

The power to jump several thousand feet in the air, without the power to survive the impact of landing

The power to be born again

The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

the ability to only crap while on a toilet

the power to stop sitting on the internet wacthing cat videos

The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

The abilty to give yourself 0 subscribers on youtube.

The power to make Q-Tips rain from the sky every month

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

The power to touch your toes

Vanilla scented blood

The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

The power to obey gravity

the power to sneeze whenever you want

The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

Pointless Super Powers