The power to masturbate only when someone is watching.

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The power to type any password only if some one tells you the password first.

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The power to become mentally retarded only when you get an erection.

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The power to eat three times a day.

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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The abilty to give yourself 0 subscribers on youtube.

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The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

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The power to touch your toes

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

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The ability to break the fourth wall. Thank you for reading this pointless super power, please like it.

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The power to obey gravity

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The power of hindsight

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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The power to think of your death and then you die.

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The power to wait for the moment... TO THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT! And then the wait for the moment... FOR THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT

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the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

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The Power to touch MC Hammer

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the power to misspell

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The power to be Chuck Norris's bitch.

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!