you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to bleed for 3-7 days for a week every month, and still live..

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to die

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to release the bogus

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to think of a good super power right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to hear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to lick your balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to hurt other people by hurting yourself, and you both sustain the damage.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to predict the present

thumb_up thumb_down +71

the power to create a meme

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Having Wolverine’s ability to healing from any damage, but still healing at a normal human rate of recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

thumb_up thumb_down +71

make youself dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The power that when you sit down you fall through the seat

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The power to grant underwater breathing to Mosquitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The power to smell a fart from a 500 mile radius.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

the power to be friends with Donald trump

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to be the only homosexual in a house of 5 other people who are there for sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to be invisible to everything but security cameras.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

the power of mind controlling...yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!