The power to have no life and watch a whole tv series in a week.

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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The power to control paprika with your mind

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The power to make money disappear.

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the power to see stuff

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The power of telling the name of ANY song/music ever made by just listening the first three seconds of it.

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the power to sing like an angel... but only if the song is "friday" or "baby"

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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The power to permanently shorten your own penis

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The power to bend time and space in a way that would do nothing.

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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Power to instantly turn drunk

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The power to be alone

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The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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The ability to be blind, deaf, and mute at will.

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The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

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The power to turn grow a vagina that can whistle on your neck during a full moon.

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The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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The power to find the end of the sticky tape

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The power to speak using their mouth

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!