the power to disappear up your own asshole

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The power to eat 2 hotdogs in the same bun

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The power to grow more genitals.

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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the power to walk on land.

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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The power of having the answer to every possible question, but also to have no way of describing said answers!

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The power to shoot iron from your blood

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the power to make a fart that kills people when no one is around you

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The power to vomit every time you burp.

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The ability to walk on your hands because your feet have nails in them.

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The power to keep up with the kardashians

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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The power to predict the present

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the ability to get the chills when someone close to you has an erection.

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The power to finish anyone's sentience.

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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the power to see everyone as a tree

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The power to read upside down...only when you're upside down.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!