the power to hovertate

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The power to chew ass and kick bubblegum, but be all out of ass!

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The power to increase you`re pain at will.

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the power to to deep fry anything deep fried

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the power to run 10000 mph, but evertime you ran you were teleported to a police station and you turned into a black guy

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The power to suck your own dick, by growing and shrinking your p3nis.

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The power to sweat profusely on cold days.

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the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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The power the ability to read minds but only on February the 30th 1783.

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The power to smell any point in time

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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the ability to blow yourself

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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the power to be blind, but only if you're blind

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the power to see stuff

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the power to sing like an angel... but only if the song is "friday" or "baby"

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The power of telling the name of ANY song/music ever made by just listening the first three seconds of it.

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The power to wake up every morning and have to pee

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The power to play FPS games in real life (respawning included) but lag a lot

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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The power to permanently shorten your own penis

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!