The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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The power to talk without a tongue

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The power to level up on a game which you can't level up on.

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The power to sense if an object is sharp.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

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The power of self-propelled flight, but only when you're the President of the United States.

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the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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get my hair more 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 Straighter---Girl!

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Aweonao

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the power to run in slow motion

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the power to give your mom amazing orgasms by doing her analy

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The power to turn into any cat which is about to give birth.

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To be small u could be step on because no one can hearu

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THE POWER TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE VIA CAPITALIZATION

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The power to be able to freeze anything, with the help of your trustworthy sidekick the freezer.

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the ability to figure out exam questions, but only after the exam.

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!