the power to take a poo everywhere but on the toilet

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The power to make your left hand glow whenever you put your right hand up your ass.

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Super strength that works for a millisecond.

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The amazing ability to shoot any liquid substance out of your eyes, with a requirement being you must douse your eyes with the substance beforehand.

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The power to turn Dollars into Pennies

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The power to chew with your tongue

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the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

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The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

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The power to think up the best lines but forget them when you try to speak

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The power to make remotes invisible

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The ability to open your window, and shout retarded things at your neighbors. "HEY! MY ASH SMELLS LIKE BANANAS!"

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power to see you're self in a mirror

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The power to drink clean water (because i think dirty water is ewwy)

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the power to die

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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The ability to walk slower than everyone else

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The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

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the power to travel around the world in 24 hours

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to make the opposite of what you want to happen (and you can not think of bad things happening)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!