Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to hover a milimeter off solid ground when performing a walking motion.

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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The power to think of a clever comeback as soon as the person has left the room.

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The ability to swim in water.

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The power to be able to turn invisible in the dark.

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The power to have the aim of Torres

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on it .....

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The power to be able to freeze anything, with the help of your trustworthy sidekick the freezer.

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The power to swallow thousand liters of sperm without any ill effects.

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The power to, receive THE POWER! What is this power you may ask... it is the power of TRUE POWER!

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The power to see the past. Only the past. Never the present.

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The power to like the fact that someone liked my status.

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The ability to have A's in all your classes, but only if you already have A's in all your classes.

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the power to turn into a rock and you cant turn back into a human

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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The power to draw a perfect circle.

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The power to be the best driver in the world, when not moving.

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The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

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the power to forget all you learned when taking the final. just so u could remember it later...

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The power to balance the light switch in the middle but only on the 4th try.

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The power to jump 1 centimeter off the ground and be hungry and if you don't get food within a nano second you'll die of exposure to any form of matter

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The ability to push doors marked "pull"

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!