the power to crap out bite-sized super heroes.

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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The power to date women if they say 'Yes' when you ask if they want to date.

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power of becoming sick when you need it.

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The power to die

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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to zap people but only yourself

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The power to sneeze scissors

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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The ability to make cardboard taste slightly less like cardboard.

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The power to have a device to turn the tv off without touching it!!! :O

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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To have the power of hindsight, which will allow you to see what you should have done previously or what other people should have done

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The power to stay dry in the rain, while indoors.

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The power to do control the atmosphere, but only in space.

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The power to control disabled people with your mind.

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

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The power to make remotes invisible

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The power to smile uncontrollably.

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The power to drive a car, but only once you've passed your driver's license.

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The ability to jump

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!