to make your bowel work backwards

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the power to randomly die at any moment

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The power of becoming sick when you need it.

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The power to have any nice guy, but they're all gay.

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to zap people but only yourself

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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The power to turn into a tree.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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Feeling people's depression.

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The ability to jump

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The ability to find a use for High School Algebra.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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Power to not get pissed off after seing so many of this: "Power to turn invisible when no one is looking."

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The power to be a GOD with your imagination

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!