The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to read terms and conditions

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The power to tell people that you have been "gifted" with a pointless superpower.

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The power to control disabled people with your mind.

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The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

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Justin Bieber

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To be able to levitate one object in front of you for one second a day

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The ability to see into the present.

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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The power to turn into a tree.

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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boo

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the power to be powerless

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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the power to have a pointless superpower

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!