The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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the power to read this sentence

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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Acid tears.

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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The power to fart slightly less deadly

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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The power to know everything, but then forget every 7 seconds

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the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

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the power to randomly die at any moment

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The power to walk through doors, then open it.

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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the power to kill yourself

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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The power to suck your own dick

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!