the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

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The power to turn any object into food

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The power to shoot rainbows out of your dick, the rainbows can pwn anyone if you smoked crack before using this power

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The power of x-ray vision but unfortunatly your blind

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The power to make only right turns. take THAT nascar!

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The power think five times slower.

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to time travel 60 seconds a minute

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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the power to write on cellophane

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Being able to transform into anything on and off the planet, only, you have to be touching that object.

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the power to have an organsim when your a boy

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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To be able to catch a speeding bullet with your head.

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The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

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the ability to type slower.

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The power to gain 50 dollars every daybut have to pay 75 back every 12 hours.

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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The power to die instantly from not reading books, meaning if you don't read books you'll die.

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the power to fold a piece of paper in half 8 times

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The ability to make knifes out of your own feces.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!