to die when you are happy

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The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to volunteer as tribute.

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the power to see through clothes in a gay bar.

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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The power to jump over any fence no matter how high! Good luck surviving the fall.

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The power to become square shaped each time you are on fire. Moral: Try rolling on the ground now bitch...

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power of x-ray vision but unfortunatly your blind

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The ability to hover slightly above the ground on Wednesdays.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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The power to walk through air.

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Having a 5 second eidetic memory

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The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

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The power to have excellent wifi when all your devices are dead.

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The Power to make PotNoodle...

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The ability to gain more intelligence every second, while whacking your head on a pole, knocking out your brain cells.

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The ability to make water luke warm.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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the power to have a combination lock, and forget the code

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!