The power to teleport yourself one step away

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understanding every language only if you get insulted

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The power to become black!

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the power of turn yourself into a mexican

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the power to teleport to the center of the earth

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The ability to lose all your limbs on command.

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The ability 2 breath underwater, but not above water

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The ability to jump 8 feet fences

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The power to turn Wii controllers into broken TV sets.

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the power to nap instantly, but only when you're tired.

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the power of not being able to feel pain during constipation

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The power HAVE A SUPER POWERD LASER SHIT

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to understand irony.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the ability to fart out of your nose

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to waste time and sit around doing nothing and not helping society when you could be doing something productive

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The power to walk on water mixed with cornstarch and cesium.

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The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

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The power to have to answer to morons while I put morals under EVERY one of my comments... Moral: At this point asking you makes you a trucking moron. Moral: Just to annoy you. Moral: And everyone is pointless so if you get annoyed, well that is your pointless superpower... hahaha!

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the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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The power to reseal bottles!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!