The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to barf up a narwhal, but only on Wednesdays.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The ability to run... AT THE SPEED OF MAN

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to write sentences without periods Get it? A POINTLESS super power? LAWL

thumb_up thumb_down +90

the power to make realy convincing whale noises

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to know what you're going to have for dinner on any given day 10 years from now.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to uncontrally boop

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to speak any language, but only the ones that aren't spoken in the country that you are in.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to play Call of Duty for free, if you've already bought the game not for free.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to peel a banana with your foreskin

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to eat a cheeseburger and still get fat from it

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to make yourself deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

the ability to stare at a cactus for a week without being bored

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The power to increase the amount of earwax by 300 percent at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

The power to die using only your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

the ability to know if a video game sucks just by looking at the name

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power to (involuntarily) duplicate someone's wounds or illnesses by touching them.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

THE POWER TO XLEAN UP STUFF WITH YOUR SUPER STRONG PUNCH

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to punch that like button

thumb_up thumb_down +46

the power to like Liam Brudenell, That is pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to turn into a koi fish... but only when there is no water around.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

The ability to abruptly end conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!