the power to sleep through a prison rape

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power to poop fast enough to splash your own bum.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The ability to go forward in time at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

to spelle caretly

thumb_up thumb_down +105

the power to be invisible when sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The power to solve every problem in the world. By dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The power to be writing a pointless superpower on a website about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Having a bullet-proof skeleton.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Hnavig the alibtiy to raed tihs.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to write sentences without periods Get it? A POINTLESS super power? LAWL

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to make cats burp.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

the power to learn literature(in school) before the Bagrut exam

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to be great at math but forget how to breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The ability to teleport instantly to your current location.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to not move but your always happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

the power to fly but only 5 feet off the ground and at walking speed.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to have tastebuds inside your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!