The ability to have every possible thought as fast as the Flash is capable of moving and faster and know how every scenario can, will, and most likely will play out, yet you cannot say anything about them and they cannot be put to use. As well as no one can read your mind or anything similar to obtain said knowledge.

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The power to fly, but only when pigs do

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The power to find pokemon attractive

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Hearing so good a raindrop will deafen you

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The power to break your legs before hitting the ground after jumping off of heights

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The power to die at will.

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The power to give your grandma amazing orgasms.

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The power to grow your toenails, but only one at a time.

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The power to sleep on road trips but only if you're not in a car.

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the power to fly while under water

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The power to determine after 1 year that something is broken when you yourself have done it deliberately broken

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The ability to not have an ability (The ability to be a paradox)

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The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

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the power to shit your pants uncontrollably when your mom calls your name

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The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

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The power to see 147 billion years into the future.

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The power to drink dihydrogen monoxide without dying.

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the power to not die only when someone shoots you in your left heel.

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The power to become a lime only when you're left nipple brushes against your left shoe whilst it is superglued to your ding dong and you're strapped to a bed naked in the woods.

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The ability not to be able to make a bong out of a taco bell cup

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The power to jump 3% higher than the average human,

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The power to secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes every time you secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes.

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The power to revive anyone....But only if they are alive.

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the power to fart your way to the moon

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!