The power to hover 1 foot off of the ground.

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The ability to be smarter than the average bear.

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The power to turn into shit, but not be able to change back.

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The power to plank

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The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

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The power to make any woman have earth shattering totally consuming climaxes at will, but only if she's having sex with another man

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The ability to get out of bed in a Monday morning even though you don't want to

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The ability to levitate birds

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The power to control sloths

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The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

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The power to have an ejaculate in your pants by looking a girl in the eyes.

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The power to never stop shitting.

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power to make your saliva taste like a 90 yr old diabetic old man who has tapeworms' poop

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the super power to be annoying.Oh wait...*cough cough* deadpool *cough cough*

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the ability to lick your own anus

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The ability to have all of the money in the world, but then have to share it with everybody in the world.

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the power to read whenever somebody is about to make a pun but only if youve already heard that pun

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The superpower of having no superpower.

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The power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

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Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

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The power to grow new teeth.

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the power to fly but only if you keep both feet firmly on the ground

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The ability to see through blind peoples eyes

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!