The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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The power to be yourself.

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The power to speak any language, provided that no one around you can understand it.

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Meatvision.

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the power to be the best looking person but only to rapists.

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The ability to turn into Chuck Norris, then get round house kicked in the face and killed by the real Chuck Norris because there can only be one Chuck Norris.

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The power to go super saiyan for 0.01 seconds

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To have the ability to trip over your own "meat curtains" at will and make it look graceful... somehow.

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the power to see into the present.

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The power to hear other people's thoughts when they aren't thinking.

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the power to have an idea..

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The power to fail every time you try to do something

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The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.

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The ability to teleport to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

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Immunity to everything, except diseases that cause death.

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the power to type without looking at the keyboard

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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The power to move you right eye into the position of your left and vise versa, but only when you are sleeping.

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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The power to eat multiple things at a time

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The ability to eat anything except for food

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the power to twerk as good as miley cyrus

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The power to die on command

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!