The power to blink 1% faster than normal.

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The power to seduce any woman... that weighs over 300 pounds.

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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The power to light little sticks on fire by rubbing them quickly on the box they came in.

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The ability to move your own internal organs, causing extruciating pain

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The power to speak in cursive

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The power to taste anything you smell.

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The ability to cure someone of HIV, but you contract it yourself.

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The power to make anything into toilet paper.

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The superpower to think that you have a superpower

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The power to find any object in an I-Spy book, but instantly forget the location of the previously found object.

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The power to meme 20% harder

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The power to make fish drown.

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The ability to have a friend names James who dislikes all your Pointless Superpowers

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The power to think outside the bun.

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The power to half your IQ and have it return to normal in an hour

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The power to object to every point you try to... Moral: OBJECTION!

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having the ability to not piss yourself when your on the toilet.

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The power to hear morse code.

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The power to change you`re mind at rando... the power to... hmm.. the... the.. AH! The power to... hmm... no... hmm...

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The power to turn any dollar bill (1's, 5's, 10's etc.) and turn it into the amount of pennies equivalent to the bill.

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the power to pee shit and shit piss.

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The ability to transform into a bucket full of water... With no idea how to turn back.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!