The power to have YMCA or "In the navy" play explosively loudly from your nostrils and be immune to it yourself. Moral: WE KNOW YOU ARE H0MOSEXUAL ALREADY! TURN THAT SHIT OFF!

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The power to be white and have a the pingas a size of a black man. Moral: You cannot comprehend the power of the dark side.

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The power to buy jerky on a semi-weekly basis.

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The power to bleed

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The man who isn't afraid of sharks. Not even a little.

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The power to jump 1/3 of an inch higher than you would normally jump.

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the power get massive erections but you are only aroused buy new born babies or near death old men and women.

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the power to be on time daily, but only after ur late

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The power to jump super high, without landing ok.

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the power to teleport to any place 1 centimeter away.

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The power to have super strength, however when you use it you instantly become paralyzed.

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the power to lift 5 tonnes above your head, but only for 0.1 seconds

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You can read the minds of rocks.

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The power to make your clothes invisible... only while in public.

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The ability to catch anything on fire, but only if it is already on fire

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The power to control grass, not make it grow, but make it move in any direction you want.

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The ability to create a chicken egg, once and then never again.

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The power to save 16% or more on your auto insurance

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The power to become a carrot.

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The power to blink 1% faster than normal.

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The power to turn Justin Bieber into a Man.

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the power to be a master carpenter, make anything, except love.

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The power to stop reading this. Or the power to live forever but only if you never ate BACON !

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!