The power to sweat blood uncontrollably out of your anus while singing to Justin Beiber and stabbing yourself in the dick with a machete

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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the power to waste time doing stupid stuff like reading this.

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The power to not be able to reach the top shelf.

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Sorry. The power to square root -1.

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The power to breath in lava, If you don't burn.

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The power to be born.

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The ability to not get sunburn, but only at night.

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The power to remotely _jizz in someone's sock

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The power to describe the taste of water.

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The power to create little lightning bolts, but only by peeing on a electrical device, you can create little tiny lightning bolts.

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The ability to grow a beard whenever anyone in the world shits

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Power to listen to Hatsune Miku while reading these.

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The power to lose body parts spontaneously.

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The power to travel faster than the speed of light but never slower than the speed of light.

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The power to turn into a bucket for 1 second throughout your lifetime.

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The power to turn on the TV with the remote

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the power of fart helium

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The power to sing that lame "Tomorrow" song from Annie uncontrollaby on Dec. 21, 2012.

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The power to give automatically give all your money to a Nigerian businessman for a special investment opportunity

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The power to sign every comment - Some douche (Scott?)

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The power to move objects by touching them.

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The ability to lose all your limbs on command.

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The power to never finish your sentences because

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!