The power to be afraid of movies that are not scary

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The power to open any door by using the proper key.

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The power to eat your own face.

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The power to walk on your eyeballs, but only on sharp objects.

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the ability to see into the past

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The power to see through clothes of women 70+.

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The power to die

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The power to have sex with anyone, but only if they are older than 65

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*The power to fall, but only when you trip.

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The power to be happy whenever you want, but only at funerals

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Black power

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The power to always smell like cheep wine.

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The power to stop aging when outside of time. Moral: Twilight zone?

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The power to remotely _jizz in someone's sock

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The power to shape shift, but only into yourself two inches taller.

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The ability of telepathy but only when your targets are toast pieces, not whole toast mind you, toast pieces. This includes crumbs

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The power to control unsalted butter very slightly with huge amounts Of effort

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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The ability to be a successful troll.

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The power to make vegetables horny.

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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The power to make a sound in the forest when nobody is around

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The power of 50% levitation your legs would drag along the ground

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the power to be the idiot who is reading this website instead being a person because they lost their souls after there ex dumped them and they turned into horny trans-gender whores

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!