The Power to realize the Chuck Norris is overrated, not funny, not that strong, old, over used and anyone who tells a Chuck Norris joke is not funny and never will be, has no future as a comedian or any future at all and will die having not accomplished anything in life.

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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the power to give extreme diarrhea to only your grandmother and your house pet

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The power to move the entire universe a few centimeters

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The power to burp whenever you want to, but only after you've drunk 15 Dr. Peppers

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Dust-mite communication. Attack my army of microscopic and fairly harmless beasts!

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The power to grow your toenails, but only one at a time.

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thye ability to think that your in a buble and everything is flat

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The power to have morning sickness in the evening.

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the power to see stuff

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The power to go blind at will.

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The power to generate fecal matter when being held at gunpoint.

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The power to tell when someone is using a cheese grater within 5 feet

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the power to look directly at the sun only if it is on the other side of the earth

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The power to see through stuff, but you can't turn it off.

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The power to increase the loudness of a crying baby.

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the power to projectile vomit every time you attempt to laugh.

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The power to shoot water out of your hands--but only when taking a shower.

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Power to see through clothes... only to see more clothes

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The ability to reverse your digestive system.

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The power to send emails via pigeon

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The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

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the power to commit crime.

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The power to dive through an ocean without having to breathe, but only if the ocean is made of vomit.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!