The power to jizz in your pants when you eat a grape.

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The power to run slightly faster than Usain bolt

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The power to still have 0.01 percent of germs on your hands.

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The power to turn into paper

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The power to read the minds of hobos. ( now you know what hobos think about you )

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The power to hate someone you don't even know

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to turn your self into a rock that is being thrown into a volcano.

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the power to save Chinese people... who needs um?

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The power to switch your right and left ears.

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The power to turn a rock into a slightly bigger rock

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The power to tie any type of knot but only when using dental floss

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The power to win the lottery, but only the december 21 of 2012.

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the power to die on command

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The power to burp where you fart, and fart where you burp.

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The power to fly without leaving the ground.

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The power to inflict the most agonizing pain to yourself. Can only be used once and it doesn't go away

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The ability to talk like Robert DeNiro on helium

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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The power to sexually attract whales

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the power to have a power.

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The power of not knowing the future

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The ability to talk to and have a conversation with boxes

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The power to post on Facebook but only with an account.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!