The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The ability to pee freshly-made Japanese rice noodles.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to turn anything you touch into old.

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the power to create Snyder films. xD

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Having the ability to drink bleach and not die. You only get really sick.

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The power to look extremely attractive, only when ugly people are looking at you

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The power to jump only one centimeter high.

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The power to make anyone have Donald Trump's hair.

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The power to stretch your tounge but it can only curve in a way that it only get inside your anus.

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The power to eat soup with a fork

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The power to move through light at the speed of time

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The power to stop reading this. Or the power to live forever but only if you never ate BACON !

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The power to live again but only while your still alive.

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The power of being mysterious. Terribly mysterious. And possibly being capable of cutting guns in half with one's mind.

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The power to make everyone yawn in the room when you yawn.

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The power to get older every second

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The power to shapeshift into a worm.

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The Power To Poop on Command.

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black people

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The Pickle Touch- That is, the power to pickle any object by merely touching it.

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The power to speak Spanish, but only to people who do not speak Spanish.

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The ability to lead millions into committing mass genocide, proceeding this by killing yourself.

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The power to fly but only in a room with a ceiling fan

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!