The ability to cure someone of HIV, but you contract it yourself.

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The ability to be jokingly racist and not get sued by an hypocritically racist black man and end up having to carry out a minor jail sentence or pay a fine.

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the ability to taste so good it makes you wanna slap yo mama

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The power to glow in the dark but only when your really sleepy.

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The power to turn swans into pigeons (but not pigeons into swans)

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The power to resist the Facebook status forces.

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the power to think 0.0000000000000001 microseconds faster than usual

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the power to feel extreme pain

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The power to read a dictionary in under 48 hours

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the power to never have to fill out captchas

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The power to to be able to summon avocados from thin air, but then they disappear in 10 seconds.

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Th pwr t frgt vwls.

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The power to create brilliant memes, but you don't have access to the internet.

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Reverse Pooping

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The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

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The power to create a real-life version of any video game character, but an equally capable evil version is also created and they can pay attention to nothing except battling endlessly with neither gaining the upper hand.

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Move things with your mind but only if you are holding them and you can't let go

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The power to ?-1.

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The power to bleed an unlimited amount of blood, but on in front of deadly animals.

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The power to make one's skin very bumpy.

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the power to dye your hair green but only if you are holding green hair dy and one you use it the green hair dye that you are holding goes away

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The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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The power to make someone think about frogs

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the power to.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................waste your time

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!