The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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the ability vote up this superpower

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The power to kill yourself.

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The power to turn on the TV with the remote

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The power to be impressed by Sham-Wow

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The power to die when you die

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The ability to create pointless super powers

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The power to confess crimes you haven't committed.

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The power to know which came first - The chicken or the egg.

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The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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The ability to go to the time and place where you are going to die.

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The ability to swim on dry land only when submerged in dry water.

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to watch grass grow

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the power to reach a top speed of 200 miles an our, but only in built-up areas

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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To stab Djones

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the power to steal 4 avocados in july at a supermarket at 9:37 am in your underpants without arms while a cop laughs at how stupid you look. plus while you do that a cute marshmallow comes and rapes your children.

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The power to get the bullet every time you play russian roulette

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The power to read the minds of hobos. ( now you know what hobos think about you )

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The power of having the highest rated comment

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The power to jump only one centimeter high.

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The power to jump, but only on the ground.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!