the power of having super fast growing body hair. It grows a half inch a day.

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your balls glow in the dark 6am every day

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the power to transform into pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

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The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

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The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

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The power that everytime someone sneezes, a living porpoise erupts from your anus.

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the ability to have sex with a sand spur

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The power to turn load noises into cake

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The power to know exactly when you are going to die, instantly! (died instantly)

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to slip on anything.

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The power to teleport a real life Herobrine in your face

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The power to divide by 0

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The power to type in Comic Sans.

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the power of spontaneous combustion but only when you get an erection

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The power to STFU!

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The power to live with only one kidney

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The ability to shoot blueberry muffins from my fingertips.

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The power to break out of jail when you're not in jail.

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being allergic to dairy and soy

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Ability to Fly!...a plane

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The power to laugh with you shitty powers...

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I have the superpower that lets me erase the memories of amnesiacs! Beware! Beware!

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the power to know when it isn't either 4 or 9 o'clock.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!