The power to be able to type like a hacker but you can only do it once per week and the % of correct words depends on how fat you are.

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The power to hear yourself on recording and not think you sound weird

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the power to walk on water with crocks. But only if there is enough people around to laugh at your fashion choices.

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The ability to sing good in the shower... but nowhere else

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the power to projectile vomit every time you attempt to laugh.

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The power to do math when your trying to answer a question in english lessons

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the ability to shit active helicopters

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The ability to fly while in an airplane

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Dust-mite communication. Attack my army of microscopic and fairly harmless beasts!

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the power to shit shards of glass

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the power to forget what you were do-- wait, what?

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The power to increase your chances of winning a contest by 0.0000000000000000000000000001%

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To survive listening to James Blunt

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The ability to get a joke exactly ten minutes after every one else gets it

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the ability to recite any nations alphbet BACKWARDS

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the power to toast bread without a toaster

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DE POWER TO SPELL WRIGHT LOL LAOM FOTOSINSISES

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The power to seduce anyone you do not want.

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The power to shoot stagetti from your finger tips.

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the power to turn everything you touch into poop.

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The ability to perform crippling blowjobs on your enemies, but as soon as you finish you are teleported (in the same position) randomly to a crowded part of Russia.

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the power to masturbate just one time a day

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The power to create tree sap.

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The power to log out of Facebook using only your mind.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!