The power to defecate grass, but only in hot air balloons.

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The power to see in the dark. But only if you shut your eyes.

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the power to make body fat go away

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to call gkraatz gay

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The power to know the perfect rebuttal, but only after you've lost and nobody cares about what you were arguing about anymore.

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The power to deliver gifts around the world in one night but be fatter than hell, live in a frozen wasteland, and only little kids think you exist

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The power to return to life but only after being ritually buried 6ft underground

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The power to only be able to prepare foods that require a toaster in a bathtub.

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The ability to see through glass.

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the power to turn everything you touch into poop.

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The power to have car insurance, but only when you don't have a car.

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The power to be Emperor of farmville but only in a full eclipse

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the ability to eat through your ass and shit out your mouth

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The power to get the bullet every time you play russian roulette

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The power to taste the colors of M&M's.

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The power to levitate 1 inch off the ground for 5 seconds at a time.

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The power to manipulate time and space to urinate straight into your bladder, but only if you are extremely dehydrated.

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the power to dodge cars only when they are parked

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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The power to hear yourself on recording and not think you sound weird

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The power to move an object 0.01mm away from you.

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The ability to kill Abraham Lincoln with the power of your thoughts. Hey, wait a minute...

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The Ability to breathe but only when your dead

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!