the power to hovertate

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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The power to open doors the opposite way they were made to open.

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The power to see through walls, but not through air.

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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The power to play their superhero name on guitar.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to obey gravity

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The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

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the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

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Having taste buds in your anus.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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The ability to give yourself a stroke just using your mind.

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From this site`s standard... me typing this is a superpower, you reading this is a pointless superpower, and so is the superpower to HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: I still CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Well actually I can but I got hit with the pointless superpower below somewhere... Moral: For moral man it is better with one Moral too many than one moral too much... and if yu disagree YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to tap dance awesomely, but only when wearing bunny slippers.

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The power to eat your own head.

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

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The power not to dance while you're in a coma.

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The power to see everything 3D without 3D glasses

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!