the power to look directly at the sun only if it is on the other side of the earth

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The power to die

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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get my hair more 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 Straighter---Girl!

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The power to make an apple you're holding taste delicious, but only for other people

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The ability to instantly turn 360 degrees.

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The ability to produce a nickle each time you smack you`re face on any hard surface so hard you break at least 6 bones.

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The power to forget you have a super power.

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The power to psychically flush any toilet in the world once every 27 minutes.

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The involuntary power (or rather compulsion) to add "collectors edition" to everything you ever give or sell or buy. "Old bike, but in perfect condition: Collectors edition" "Hi I am selling my body "Collectors edition" "Sadly I am allergic to my German shepherd: "Collectors edition" so I have to give it away." "Hi excuse me, where do I find the "collectors edition" Milk in this store? Eh? No any kind of "collectors edition Milk is fine" Sigh... What I mean is...

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The power to laugh at other people when they get hurt, and still be able to have high esteem in front of all your friends.

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the power to get extra homework

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The power to eat socks

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the power to sing amazingly but only when someone is 158,00000000000 times louder

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The power to think of epic jokes but only at funerals

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The power to reverse walk backwards.

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The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

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The ability to police irony

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The power to open doors the opposite way they were made to open.

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The power to turn into any edible object in a restaurant.

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The power to be on mars. Not survive, not go between mars and earth. You could just instantaneously be on mars, then probably die.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!