The power to turn into a skittles bag

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the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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the power to emit air through your mouth and nose.....

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the power to stop masturbating every day

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The ability to stop only ONE bullet and ONE bullet only

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The ability to poop glue.

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the power to read this sentence

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The power to be alone

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The power to make someone forget you as soon as they laid eyes on you making you lonely forever:)

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The power to enlarge your penis to any size, but only you can see it.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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the power to enter a coma.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

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The power to knock yourself unconscious

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The ability to judge a book by its cover.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The ability to create your own reflection on any reflective surface.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to fly as long as your feet the ground

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to turn any object into food

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The power to to type Pointless Super Powers

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The power to crap without pissing.

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The power to think of your death and then you die.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!