The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

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The power to have bought Wi-Fi, without any pc or cellphone to use it.

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The power to do back flips whenever you want to but only in your mind.

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The power to make sweet love to your mother just by caressing her between the legs for a while.

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The power to not write pointless powers.

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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The power to know everyone's name before you meet them but you say it wrong every time

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The power to cum out of your finger tips

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The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

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The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

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the power uncontrollably explode expensive cars

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The ability to fool other drivers on the road into thinking that you are a car-sized mouse.

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The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

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The power to sleepwalk only when u sleep

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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The power to be in any position, and still be comfortable.

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to be able to eat candybars and spit out diabetes

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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Have god like powers but only on 30 of february

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!