The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pørnstar after dying.

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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The power to move and run faster than anything slower than yourself.

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The power to fly in tornadoes

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the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

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The power to drink as much tequila as you want without dying.

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The ability to turn into a melting crayon for $20

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The ability to turn your fingers into angry bears without you being able to control them

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The power drown in water

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

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the power to burp every time you drink 1 litre of soda/fizzy

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The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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the power to be friends with Donald trump

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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to be able to kill bieber and what ever you want only on mondays

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The power to wake up one second earlier than everyone else.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!