The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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The ability to go blind every time you open your eyes

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The power to have night vision when there's daylight.

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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the power to turn into a tree

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to appear dancing like a girl at the background of every Justin Bieber "music" "video"

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The ability to dehydrate yourself at will.

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the power to like justin beiber

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The power to not see anything

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

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be a massive dickhead, like thomas bull

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The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

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The power to eat peas as a vegetarian

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The power to walk up stairs faster then normal.

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The power to drink 10 gallons of water only when you desperately need to piss.

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The power to dream about being asleep.

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The superpower to fly but when you reach 55 feet up you loose your power

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The power to turn everything one touches with one's hand into skittles, but only applying to amputees.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!