The power to be constantly reminded of the game

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I have the power to force farts out of my ass.

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The power to shrink boobs

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The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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The power to be an idiot.

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The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

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The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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The power to be missed when present.

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power of absolutely flawless hindsight. -Credit to South Park

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The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The power to crap without pissing.

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power to drop the soap in the jail shower room

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The power to keep up with the kardashians

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!