the power to fail at everything you do

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The power of having the answer to every possible question, but also to have no way of describing said answers!

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The power to fall asleep each time you

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The power to get a cold in the wintertime.

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

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The power to breath under water, while your in a submarine.

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The ability to laugh one's ass off.

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The power of absolutely flawless hindsight. -Credit to South Park

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the ability to get the chills when someone close to you has an erection.

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The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

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the power to do anything ...but only when you're dreaming, lasting only as long as you're asleep..

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The ability to be heard in space

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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The power to make something cold when you put it in the fridge

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The ability to see the future through the eyes of people you don't know in places you can never go while you are doing life threatening work.

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to beat up anyone but only if u sneeze first

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!