The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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the power to be friends with Donald trump

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The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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the power to uncontrolably shoot bananas out of your hands

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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The power to kill anyone who is 4 seconds away from certain death

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the ability to spin gold into straw

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the ability to tell time without a watch

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01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01111001 01110000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110 (The power to type in binary)

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the power to see through clear glass.

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The power to not get shit d*ck

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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The power to have no power

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Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

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The power to block your own powers

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The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

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mint berry crunch

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The ability to be a 100% accurate shooter in basketball, however u get blocked every time you shoot

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!