The power to convert metric to imperial

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The power to moves in slow motion.

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time travel that ownly have 5 time before loose it

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The power to not see the troll dude in the Pointless Superpowers logo raping the words 'Pointless Superpowers'

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power to eat 500000 big macs in a day

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The power to transform any food into shit simply by eating it.

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The power to have really sweaty palms.

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Nothing

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the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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The power to summon a spray of bullets going everywhere in the room, and bullet-vulnerability.

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The power to get a song stuck in someone's head.

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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The power to breathe slightly faster

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The power to shit on the ceiling

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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The ability to poop glue.

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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The power to defy gravity, but only for the fraction of a second.

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!