Liam Brudenell

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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THE POWER TO NOT HAVE SUPERPOWERS! ...............ever

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The power to hover a milimeter off solid ground when performing a walking motion.

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the power to run in slow motion

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The super power to shine in daylight

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The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

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The ability to make slightly off colored flags of any country that can not be used in combat.

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The power to kill you self.

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The power to get stuck to doorknobs in dangerous situations

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The power to turn anything into Oreos.

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the power to talk to people off long distances,but only with communicational devices.

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The Power To Only Get Horny Around Your Grandmother

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to serve the Lord Dog.

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The power to fart in public AT WILL..

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the power to orgasm with your mind

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the power to suck at absolutly everything you do, except at failing.

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The power to strangle yourself to death

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the power to turn wine into water.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!