The power to f-ck every girl in the world, read it carefully EVERY girl in the world...

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The power to jump several thousand feet in the air, without the power to survive the impact of landing

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ability to run very fast forever

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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The power to break bones at will.

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The power to walk on very very shallow water (

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The power to be alone

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The power to permanently shorten your own penis

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The power to control weather on Mars

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the power to poop every 5 minutes

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The ability to make cringe worthy YouTube videos

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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open up pickles glass

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The power to walk upside down but only when you're in Australia.

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the power to read your own mind

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the power to turn into a piece of paper

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The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

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The power to never be cold, but only when it is above 80 degrees.

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the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

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the ability to make your eyes pop out.

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The power to no sweat in the cold.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!