To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The power to get laid with whomever you choose, but they look and feel like one of your parents.

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The superpower to attract harm to yourself with twice the damage.

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the power to be blind, but only if you're blind

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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Vanilla scented blood

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75% levitation

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The power to sneeze whenever you think about apples.

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The power to steal other peoples powers but being the only person in the world with super powers.

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the ability to blow yourself

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The power to look at Sun.

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The power to teleport, but only to life threatening situations.

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ability to levitate using my fart...

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The power to survive extreme temperatures, for extremely short amounts of time.

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The Ability to shit studs once a week

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The power to balance the light switch in the middle but only on the 4th try.

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The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

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the power to fly, but only when you poop

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The power to think this exact sentence at the worst possible time.

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The Power to lost your Dankness every time you Breath.

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The power to get a boner whenever you see a rainbow.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!